First of all, I would really like to know why they never made a “Family Reunion Vacation” where Clark and Ellen Griswold take Russ and Audrey to grandmothers house (obviously well before Summer Vacation where she is dead on the roof of their car) to see family they haven’t been around in years. Wouldn’t this have been a perfect addition to such a series? Complete with introductions to cousin Eddie’s parents and Griswold family tree t-shirts. And of course, Aunt Bethany would recite The Night Before Christmas as a blessing and Lewis would potentially have his real hair.
My family reunion was nothing like the train wreck that would be, thankfully. The only noteworthy thing I have to mention about the trip down is the gentleman who decided to stick his huge, harry, naked belly in my face as he was loading about ten pieces of luggage above my head on the plane. He was only about three inches from my face, and his shirt was obviously not long enough to cover his food baby. I guess you could say he belly blocked me. I also would like to add that I love the Baltimore airport. Not only is it one of the cleanest, most spacious ones I have ever flown in to, they also have good ole fashioned rocking chairs in the waiting area. It’s almost like a classy Cracker Barrel.
Everything went smoothly at the actual reunion, most notably the food. Last year there was a tiny mishap with the ribs, but this year they were on point. I probably ate my weight in them, as well as about twenty different varieties of casseroles. I love a good casserole. It’s not something I get often anymore. Whenever I mention the term in NY, people automatically assume I am referring to a potpie. The more my food is combined, the better. I have been known to create a mean mashed potato/black eyed pea/cream corn/baked bean concoction on more than one occasion.
One of my favorite things about being around family are the conversations that take place about my dating life. There always seems to be a new kid on the block that they suggest I reach out to, or even consider marrying (before I've even met the guy of course). And the older I get, the more interesting their selections become. In my early to mid 20’s (when the pool of available men was at its peak), they were tossing around ideas of doctors, lawyers and engineers. More recently, it has become those that just have a job, have all their teeth or are breathing independently without the assistance of a ventilator. Also, they are full of suggestions as to how to attract the attention of someone of the opposite sex. “Cross your legs”, “don’t sit like a man”, “don’t unbutton your pants at the dinner table after you’ve eaten a big meal” are just a few of the nuggets of wisdom I have been offered. I am surprised there is not a dating website where family members manage the search on your behalf.
It was great to see everyone, including my great aunt from New Mexico who I haven’t seen in probably 20 years. She is in her mid 80s, and such a joy to be around…very laid back. I think we ended up having around 50ish people there, and thank goodness for the fans! I believe it reached 100 that day, so we were grateful for some sort of relief. Two days later, it’s 60 and guess who decided to only pack summer clothes? Also, we definitely had remnants of a hurricane, and guess who forgot to pack an umbrella? I looked like a real peach this morning as I walked in the rain, with a garbage bag over my head, to a nearby office park to pick up a car I was borrowing for the day. Regardless, it was such a great weekend and I almost hesitate to go back. But part of me is just a little excited about it…
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